Is online intimacy bringing us closer or driving us apart?

With the proliferation of platforms that offer avenues for online intimacy, people are now able to explore their sexualities in multiple ways

For Sachee Malhotra, founder of That Sassy Thing, a digital-first sexual and menstrual wellness brand, and her partner, the Internet was the go-to space to seek intimacy while the couple was in a long-distance relationship for two years. Distance was a dampener, but it also offered the pair an opportunity to explore various aspects of their relationship and build intimacy online.

“Sometimes it’s hard to communicate our deep desires in person. It is difficult to express your vulnerabilities and put yourself out there when you are face-to-face. But sexting can be a great way to navigate these challenges without having to follow a script,” says Sachee.

Smartphones and the Internet have transformed how people communicate with each other. Whether it is social networking platforms — Facebook, Twitter and Instagram — or dating apps, the quest to establish meaningful social and romantic connections has grown hugely. Unsurprising, because the hunger for intimacy is regarded as the core of fulfilling, affirming, and gratifying human social exchanges.

New-age technologies such as artificial intelligence and virtual reality have helped create a variety of online interactions, especially romantic ones. Today, these online experiences are far more immersive, with some mimicking aspects of physical proximity between people. In the metaverse, for instance, which is a cross between virtual and augmented realities, weddings have become common. Recently, Dinesh Sivakumar Padmavathi and Janaganandhini Ramaswamy, a couple from Tamil Nadu, invited 2,000 people to their Hogwarts-themed virtual reception during a lockdown. Such 3D, human-like avatars in the virtual world simulates realistic physical interactions between people.

But is online intimacy bringing us closer, or driving us apart?

Dating apps are revolutionising romance in India — a country where arranged marriages are the norm. According to industry surveys, these apps reach 2.2% of India’s total population today, and are projected to touch 3.6% by 2024. These platforms are steered by millennials, who constitute roughly 400 million of the country’s population. They are more comfortable exploring relationships without the obligation of getting married to their romantic partners. This tectonic sociocultural shift has also spurred digital natives to experiment with various channels of online intimacy, such as virtual sex parties, sexting, or phone sex.

Tanya Percy Vasunia, a Washington D.C.-based psychologist, notes that the way we communicate has dramatically changed in the last couple of decades. Recent surveys indicate that more people are talking online today than face to face. According to a mobile insight firm App Annie, WhatsApp may soon reach 500 million users in India. More than 95% of WhatsApp’s monthly users in the country use the app every day, which reflects the ‘new reality’: people preferring texting to speaking over the phone.