Column | Why is the Internet giving Lewis Hamilton a digital bath at the Ganges?

I am not sure if I want to be the one telling you this, but we are at an age where one can take a digital bath.

My chronically-online self is usually unfazed by Internet absurdities. However, the time has come to let you know that one particular trend has got my goat: Having to type sentences like ‘Prayagraj-based entrepreneur Deepak Goel gives snans (baths) to celebrities like Logan Paul, Sydney Sweeny, Lewis Hamilton, and Virat Kholi at the Narmada and Ganga rivers’. It’s all downhill from here, isn’t it?

Back in January and February, when the Maha Kumbh Mela was being celebrated in full swing in Uttar Pradesh, Deepak Goel, an entrepreneur, saw an opportunity that you and I didn’t. When the world was rushing to dip themselves into the Ganges, Deepak put out a video on Instagram introducing himself. “Hi, I’m Deepak Goel from Prayagraj and I am performing digital snans for people. All you have to do is send me a WhatsApp picture of yourself. I will take a printout and dip you five times. I come here every day,” he declared.

Earlier, the dips came at a hefty price. When the Kumbh was taking place, Deepak could be seen standing at the ghats by the river with his pants rolled up, holding up passport sized images of strangers who wanted their sins to be washed away. He charged ₹1,100 for a picture. Since February 23, the end of the fest, the service has been largely free though. One only needs to pay ₹25 to cover the cost of printing the photo out and conveyance. “I offer digital snan services at Sangam-Prayagraj, Narmada-Jabalpur and at Haridwar. For Sangam-Prayagraj, you only have to pay ₹25 per photograph. There can be many people in one photograph also,” he says.

Since February, the entrepreneur has been flooded with requests — gag and serious ones alike — for digital salvation. It has also invited several spoof spin offs. Do you have a broken leg but still wish to work those abs? Go to the digital gym where someone places your photo on a treadmill for cardio? A parody account @digitalgym01 has 608k views on their first video already. Can’t drink a peg of whiskey because your parents or partner disallows you from doing so? A digital peg by YouTuber Mister Param is the way to go.

Deepak’s video of a snan of American influencer and wrestler Logan Paul, his wife Nina Agdal and their child Esme, has gotten nearly 5 million views. Pop-culture content creator @thepjexplained sent a collage of himself and actress Sydney Sweeny, known for her striking beauty, and requested a dip.

In a television interview, Deepak said that he was using advanced technology to help facilitate the wishes of those who could not be present at Prayagraj for this festival. “Old people who cannot travel need to be accommodated somehow. People say that I am using advanced technology for this,” he said. How kind.

I ended up saving a number of his videos so my algorithm now only shows me an odd mix of F1 and Maha Kumbh reels. The ones that cracked me up the most were requests from Westerners like Alex, a woman from Kent, who paid $20 for this; and from forlorn Formula One fans who prayed for Ganga-fuelled victory laps of drivers like Charles Leclerc and Max Verstappen. “‘Charles’, ‘Charles’, ‘Charles’. How many of you have requested him. Hope he wins the race tomorrow,” Deepak said in all seriousness, announcing the date: May 24 and location: Sangam Prayagraj.