To have and to hold

Happy Seniors program helps single seniors find companionship and love through marriage or live-in relationships after 60.

Fifty-seven senior citizens have gathered in Satvik Valley Resort, Loni Kalbhor village, about 25 kilometres from Pune. Tourists mostly come here to visit the ancient Ramdara temple, built on a hill, where Hindus believe Rama and Lakshmana visited during their exile. But this is not a religious gathering. Nor is it a bunch of fitness enthusiasts, who come during the monsoon to trek up through the greenery. These are single people, here to meet each other for marriage, or a live-in relationship, or a long-term commitment, as they live out life after 60.  

Arvind Karmarkar, 64, who works as a consultant export enabler, chortles as he says, “I hope to find my Sita soon.” He has been looking for a partner to share his life with since 2021. “I got divorced in 2011, due to differences in ideology. Since then, I have been a single parent to our only daughter,” he says. In 2021 Karmarkar’s daughter moved to the U.S., and he began feeling lonely. “There has not been anyone to talk to even about the basic things in life or share a few laughs with while watching a movie or reading a book. I hope I meet someone likeminded soon.” 

Pune-based Madhav Damle Foundation, which works towards women and child development, runs Happy Seniors, a matchmaking programme for those over 60. They conduct meet-ups every fortnight, and claim to have helped 90 couples find companionship, over the last 14 years. Of these 14 have chosen to be in live-in relationships and the rest have married. 

It’s about 5 p.m., as the attendees slowly gather, chairs are arranged, but interaction is not easy; many seem reticent and women and men occupy opposite ends of the seating area. A few women are wearing high heels and make-up, ready for a party. It takes one woman to say, “Let’s play some music and dance.” The Happy Seniors team plays a Marathi song, and a few women get up to dance; some men join in.

One of the women, finds a puppy and starts to play with it and sing to the music sitting on her chair. Watching her from across, a man, holding another puppy, approaches her and they slowly exchange laughs and play with the pups. As the ice breaks, a circle is formed and most have started dancing the garba. Beverages and snacks start rolling in as the evening progresses. 

In Maharashtra, single seniors, often lonely when they lose family members, are looking at a life of companionship in the years they have left, despite various challenges. The World Health Organization has put life expectancy in India at 69 years for women and 65.8 years for men.

Helping find companionship