Oh to be in England, now that it touches 40 there 

London turned 40 this year – temperature, not age – and I was there. It was like being present a

London turned 40 this year – temperature, not age – and I was there. It was like being present at a historic occasion, one that will be talked about for years, or at least till the temperature crosses 41 (which is expected to happen in the next couple of summers). The weather, already a participatory sport in Britain, has gained a new dimension.

Britons displayed a morbid fascination for that round number, one their country hadn’t seen before on their weather charts.  For a while bookmakers were offering odds on which event would occur first – a Virat Kohli century or the temperature touching 40. The build-up in each case was riveting, and the thrill of the one coming to pass was matched only by the disappointment of the other failing to do so.

Babies born that day will know for a fact that life begins at forty. They will see more 40-degree summers in Britain than the present generation – thanks to the way we have been treating the earth they will inherit. 

I think the country would have been seriously disappointed if the temperature had peaked at 39. The extra degree made everyone feel more adult, more picked on and gave them greater licence to complain. “Hot enough for you?” people asked one another with great originality, recalling the times when summer temperature never went past the 20s. Commuters clutched water bottles fiercely, their eyes on the alert for any bottle hijacking. 

A large portion of the population sat indoors, windows shut, curtains drawn, as if waiting for the weather to knock on the door and proclaim its forty-ness.

The heat melted the runway at Luton Airport, caused fires in parks, and slowed down trains making travel a nightmare as tracks warped.  One woman complained of discrimination because while men were allowed to walk around topless, women were not. In Wales, pigs had to be lathered with sun cream ahead of an agricultural fair. London data centres used by Google and Oracle buckled knocking some websites offline. There was no blackout because Britain paid 5,000 per cent extra to import electricity. 

Many people voluntarily chose to work from their offices for the air conditioning there. Experts pointed out that Britain’s infrastructure works best between minus ten degrees and 35 Celsius. On either side is a lottery.