Bengaluru techie uses Excel sheet to quantify and track friendships efficiently

A Bengaluru professional has ignited discussion after revealing he tracks friendships using a custom system, arguing that forming new close relationships is statistically inefficient.

After building an app to optimise buffet strategy, a move that reportedly earned him death threats, a Bengaluru techie is once again stirring the internet. This time, he has turned his analytical lens toward something far more personal: friendship.

In a detailed post on X, Pankaj revealed that he has spent six years systematically tracking his relationships using a self-built system called Ziya.

Designed like a personal customer relationship management (CRM) tool, the system logs interactions, conversational patterns and even how he feels after speaking to someone.

“It tracks context, patterns, interactions, how I feel after talking to someone,” he wrote. “Yeah, I literally quantify friendships. If someone’s ROI stays negative long enough, I stop engaging.”

Calling his approach “cold” and “transactional,” Pankaj defended it by arguing that “pretending time is infinite is worse.”

According to his six-year dataset, forming a meaningful friendship carries what he calls a heavy “bootup cost.” He estimates that it takes 8–12 hours to move from first contact to a genuine conversation, 45–60 hours over several months to build trust, and another 80–120 hours across a year or more to reach emotional vulnerability.