The way to be happy Premium

Happiness is the acceptance of a relationship or situation, with a sense of satisfaction, not with resignation. It is a positive emotion and should never stem from the unhappiness or discomfiture of someone else, because happiness is not a zero sum game.

An 80-year-old was being driven to an old-age home. He was jubilant, talking about the wonderful time he was going to have. Asked how he could be so happy when he had not even seen the place, he replied, “How does that matter? I have decided to be happy.”

Philosophers, from time immemorial, have talked about the fundamentals of human happiness — finding pleasure and avoiding pain. Happiness is the acceptance of a relationship or situation, with a sense of satisfaction, not with resignation. It is a positive emotion and should never stem from the unhappiness or discomfiture of someone else, because happiness is not a zero-sum game.

Envy and suspicion are the biggest barriers to a happy state. A positive attitude helps a person to count her blessings, hold back complaints and treat others well. Happiness comes from optimism, laced with a sense of reality. As writer Brian Vaszily says, “If being happy is important to you, try this: instead of regretting all you lack, celebrate all you have got.”

Every child in play school sings the song, “If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands.” When is a person happy? One can never really say. It is a very personal state, as unique as your fingerprint, characterised by a sense of well being, joy or contentment. When someone is successful or safe or lucky, she feels happy. It brings a smile on her face, a song on her lips or a spring in her step. Happiness is like a gift hamper. Different people put different things into it at different times of their lives. Money, success, family, promotion, goal completion, work-life balance, jewellery, clothes, shoes and what have you — happiness, like the rainbow, is a many splendoured thing!

Never try to judge someone else’s “happy state”. For a workaholic, work is pleasure. For an elderly person, just being healthy is being happy. A teenager needs his friends, a sportsperson needs his game. It may mean karaoke singing for someone, playing cards for someone else and mountain climbing for another. A good book and a hot cup of tea in a cottage atop a hill may be someone’s idea of bliss. Work may mean happiness for Mrs. X whilst “anything but work” may bring happiness for Mr. Y.

A source of happiness could be when you look upon a task that you have completed, to the best of your ability.

Marketing gurus have elicited some generalisations about what would make the majority happy. These have become standards on which holiday, consumer goods or salary packages are based. Hotels and lounges also offer the “happy hour” based on this understanding!