Fake fake vs. real fake

Real news reaching absurd levels has had the knock-on effect of raising the bar for fake news. For fake news to stand out, it has to reach for the stars

My friend wished me “Good Morning” over text a few days ago. I immediately fact checked his message. This has now become my conditioned response to anything I receive over WhatsApp. Regardless of what the message may be, I feel the need to check for its validity before responding. Whether a casual greeting, a cricket update, a polite inquiry after my health, or an invitation to dinner, my immediate reaction is “Probably fake”.

While some may posit that this is due to the rampant proliferation of fake news on social media, I beg to differ. On the contrary, I believe that the primary reason is that it has become virtually impossible these days to identify actual, real news. In fact, it has become so difficult that even editors of mainstream news outlets seem to struggle with it, even though one would assume that this would be their primary skill. Every morning, my news feed seems to give equal importance to the war in Ukraine, some tweet exchange between Irfan Pathan and Amit Mishra, Sri Lanka’s economic collapse, the happenings on the latest episode of  Lock Upp, the possibility of a fourth COVID 19 wave in India, riots in New Delhi, and how good Mouni Roy looks in a lehenga. I do suspect that some of these are of more importance than others, but it’s hard to tell anymore.

This is why people are so ready to believe anything they read online, especially on WhatsApp. “India offers to absorb Sri Lanka”, “Penguin rescues puppy from Ninjas”, “Nirmala Sitharaman moonwalks to China for talks”, and “Modi beats Putin in intense 3 hour  Dawn of War II multiplayer battle” would all be read, believed and forwarded with world-class gullibility and an almost charmingly carefree disregard for common sense.

News channels on television have, in fact, elevated this blurring of lies (er... lines. Sorry.) into high art. It’s bad enough that most news channel debates sound remarkably like a raging three way Warhammer battle between the Adeptus Astartes, an Ork Warboss and a Tyrannid swarm, but things get really hard to decipher when the screen overlays simultaneously inform us that petrol prices are at an unprecedented high, BYJU’s is now offering live tuitions, and that Ajay Devgn has a new film coming out in July.

In fact, real news reaching such levels of absurdity has had the knock-on effect of raising the bar for fake news. For fake news to really stand out these days, it has to really reach for the stars. “Man bites dog” or “Rishabh Pant plays technically sound forward defensive stroke” will no longer do. We need more. “Yogi Adityanath changes his name to Chapter Master Gabriel Angelos, recommends translating entire Black Library catalogue into Sanskrit”. “Jawaharlal Nehru rises from the grave to revive fortunes of Congress party”. “Major Bollywood stars admit ignorance, refuse to give opinions of budget”. That sort of thing.

I am actually of the opinion that we should simply stop referring to real news as real altogether. Perhaps we could call it “Fake fake news”. Or maybe “Poor man’s fake news”. Or “alternative fake news”. That would at least then absolve news media of the responsibility of making sure that the news they publish is relevant, important, or even true, and get on with the far more important task of making sure that it’s entertaining. And complete the delightful cycle of irony where we can regard news channels as entertainment, and films like  Kashmir Files as the gospel truth.

Anand Ramachandran is a Chennai-based writer and game designer who likes playing games with his writing.