Windsor woman grieving baby's death hopes return of support program will help others

Warning: This story includes details about infant death and an image of a stillborn baby. 

About six months into her pregnancy, Windsorite Gerilyn Dowding says she went into the hospital with complications and left without her daughter, Eden. 

Dowding says she still isn't sure what sort of medical issues caused her to give birth to a stillborn, but she knows that she's still grieving the loss of a child who she never got to take home.

"I don't think I've began to cope with it," said Dowding, who had the stillbirth in July. 

"There hasn't been any acceptance for me yet in what happened."  

In the days and weeks that Dowding has spent trying to cope, she says she was disappointed to find that there aren't any in-person bereavement programs in Windsor for women or parents of a stillborn or miscarriage. 

"With all the paperwork I was given from the hospital for bereavement services and how much they stressed I should contact this agency and this agency and get ahold of this person, just for me to do those steps and to be told, 'we can't help you, you need to wait for help' — I was shocked," she said.

"I don't understand why they refer those services if the services aren't in place and there for us." 

Instead, the 22-year-old relied on family, friends and her social worker at the Canadian Mental Health Association's (CMHA) Windsor-Essex branch. 

She says she tried joining online sessions for bereaved parents whose older children have died, but felt that her grief and experiences didn't align with theirs. 

According to the most recent data from the Windsor-Essex County Health Unit (WECHU), the rate of stillbirths in Windsor-Essex in 2020 was 8.69 stillbirths per 1,000 births (including live and still births).

In comparison, the province's rate of stillbirths was 8.12 per 1,000 births. 

According to the CMHA's Windsor-Essex branch, the city has been without an in-person bereavement program for parents of infants, specifically those dealing with a stillborn or miscarriage, since the pandemic began. 

CMHA's mental health educator Sonia McMahon-Comartin says the organization had a program, called Bereaved Parents of Infants, that ended about five years ago.