Swap, Don't Swipe — 'Switch Therapy' Is A Kink Couples Are Trying To Maintain Their Marriage

Here's what relationship therapists really think about it.

Are Americans done with marriage? Or just monogamy?

A recent catchy headline in the Wall Street Journal, “American Women Are Giving Up on Marriage,” might make you think that’s the case. Even a recent study from the Institute for Family Studies found there’s an upswing in divorces for people aged 65 or older — calling them “gray divorces,” and a study from Match.com found 31% of single people have engaged in consensual nonmonogamy, meaning they’re open to more flexibility in open relationships.

But even with an increase in divorces among one age group and a spike in interest in alternatives like polyamory, the truth is (for Americans, at least), monogamy remains the preferred type of commitment for couples, and divorce numbers are down.

But for couples struggling and contemplating divorce or separation, could a controversial form of therapy work for them? “Switch therapy,” sometimes also known as “swapping,” happens when a couple decides to temporarily separate and date other people as a way to gain a sense of clarity or better understanding of their own issues through relationships with others.

We spoke with therapists who recommended that in some couples swap their partners and live with another person for several weeks. In other instances, the switch doesn’t require packing your bags and moving, but rather dating outside of your relationship with agreed-upon parameters. In extreme versions of switch therapy, the move into a new potential partner’s home is encouraged. In tamer versions of the therapy, it’s close role-playing with a potential new partner and doesn’t require relocating your toothbrush. The overall point of the switch is to illuminate what you’re not receiving from your partner or what you yourself are unable or unwilling to provide — and by doing so, the couple will have some enlightening realization about their wants and needs.