Satire | Top things to see and do in VCR, also known as Delhi

It’s that time of the year when the NCR or National Capital Region (also known as Delhi) turns into Venice Capital Region (VCR). I’ve been flooded with mails from adventure tourists around the country and across the world seeking recommendations for a quick sightseeing tour. Here are some tips, from swimming tours to garbarge rides.

It’s that time of the year when the NCR or National Capital Region (also known as Delhi) turns into Venice Capital Region (VCR). I’ve been flooded (no pun intended) with mails from adventure tourists around the country and across the world seeking recommendations for a quick sightseeing tour. Like the kurinji flower, NCR blooms into VCR only once every 12 months (a month feels like a year in the NCR). So you can’t blame travel enthusiasts for wanting to explore it.

But I am astonished that top travel sites such as Sad-and-Lonely Planet have nothing to offer on VCR, despite it being an iconic destination. VCR, the only Venice in the Global South, is recognised by UNESCO as an Ultra-Super Heritage site for being the only city in the world that can exist in two states (for those who failed in science at school, that would be solid and liquid).

I am not a professional travel writer and don’t have much experience in this genre of content. But on popular demand, here are some tips on what to see and do in VCR:

Make this your first stop. Unlike its Italian cousin, VCR has not one but several grand canals. But the most famous one, which often fills up even during the off-season, is the waterbody under Min-rial-to Bridge. Check out any newspaper of any year for coverage of the first monsoon showers in the VCR and you’ll find photos of half-submerged cars, bikes, and autorickshaws gambolling in the beautiful dirt-grey waters. Get on the roof of a DTC bus for the best vantage point from which to admire the VCR in all its glory.

India is the land of the cow (both the bovine and human variety) and there is no better place than St. Moo’s Square to witness the majestic sight of the Bos indicus taking a bath in public. Once a popular spot for humans who wanted to protest, this area was renamed St. Moo’s Square in honour of all the Indians who voluntarily acquired an Aadhaar card and later supported demonetisation.

Once you’ve soaked up the rich smells of St. Moo’s Square, you should head to the stunning Dog’s Palace. It is taller, grander and more imposing than Venice’s Doge’s Palace. Its New Indian architecture and wedding cake sensibility is known to move many to tears, while the weak of heart could be traumatised. If you are an architect, parental supervision is advised.

There are many of these littered all over VCR, as India is the only country in the world that upholds every citizen’s fundamental right to sigh, which is protected under Article 0.01, the last surviving article of the Constitution. The most picturesque Bridge of Sighs is located in a part of VCR known as Gurugram.