'Dry Begging' Is A Form Of Emotional Manipulation That Sounds All Too Familiar
HuffPost
Read this if you regularly hear statements like "I wish I had a partner who cooks" or "some people would be thrilled to have someone who loves them so much."
Have you ever frustratingly mumbled to your partner that it “must be nice to have a partner who walks the dog” in hopes of them walking the dog more often? Or have you ever sighed that you’ll “just do the errands alone” even though you don’t want to? Turns out, you may be dry begging, a tool that people use in relationships of all sorts to get their needs met.
“Dry begging is when someone indirectly asks for something. There’s a need there, but they’re not stating it clearly,” said Aerial Cetnar, a therapist and owner of Boulder Therapy and Wellness in Colorado.
Instead of making a straightforward request or voicing a direct want, someone who is dry begging hints at a need or makes a vague complaint, Cetnar added.
So, instead of stating, “I wish we spent more time together,” someone who is dry begging may say, “Oh, I guess I’ll just stay home with the cat” — they’re hinting at their displeasure instead of addressing it.
“I’ll say it can come from a place of insecurity, fear or manipulation,” said Tori-Lyn Mills, a licensed clinical professional counselor with Thriveworks in Columbia, MD. But it can also be something that folks grew up with and learned as a way to get their needs met, Mills added.
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