Debina Bonnerjee says ‘used to trolls but it hurts because I am a new mom’ | Exclusive
India Today
In an exclusive chat with IndiaToday.in, Debina Bonnerjee opens up on social media trolling and embracing motherhood.
Debina Bonnerjee embraced motherhood in April with her husband Gurmeet Chaudhary. After being together for many years, the couple finally welcomed a baby girl whom they named Lianna Chaudhary. Debina recently took to Instagram to shut down trolls who targeted her for holding her baby girl a certain way in one of the uploaded videos. In the video, Debina is seen singing an Elvis Presley song to Lianna as she holds her in one hand, soaking in the view from her balcony. Trolls, however, targeted her and, in response, Debina mentioned that no one should have an opinion on the same.
IndiaToday.in spoke to Debina exclusively about her new role and if these comments and trolls bother her. Speaking about embracing motherhood, Debina told us, “I think I am managing being a mother well. Obviously, there are thousands of changes within and around me. Also, you must deal with a lot of changes in your mind as well. So, there is this constant clash in your mind. Every few minutes, you feel you are not doing well enough because you are not able to do certain things that people lay as structure when you embrace motherhood. There are so many people who brag about breastfeeding, and that it should be done for two years, but everybody is different and reacts differently. So, when you cannot do certain things as per society’s standards, you feel left out and sad.”
Debina, however, mentioned that at times like these, your family and husband's support is most important. When “your family and husband stand by you and tell you it is all right, what is best for others might not be good for you. You cannot be demotivated by what people say, you learn from your experience," it feels okay.
She also emphasised the need to let the body heal and rest at its own pace, rather than following a certain template. Debina shared how her body could not take the exhaustion during the recovery phase and she was advised complete bed rest. “Each pregnancy is different. When I saw my friends who had a difficult pregnancy, I realised everybody was different. Similarly, everybody reacts differently to the recovery period as well. I saw a lot of people resuming work within 12 days of delivering the baby. So, I started moving from Day 1 and my body collapsed, not literally, but I felt fatigued. The doctor advised me against it and suggested bed rest. You need to allow your body to rest and heal at its own speed. This is no competition.”
Lastly, speaking about why trolls hurt her, Debina shared, “When people try and give an opinion on how I should treat my baby, it doesn’t bother me, but it is hurtful. I know, as an actor, I am used to trolls, but this role of mine is new. It is hurtful when people say things like ‘at least hold the baby correctly’. People do not understand that I am the mother and if I am holding the baby I have brought into this world with so much love, why would I be careless? If I feel that the baby is comfortable and I am comfortable holding my baby that way, I am such a strong person, and my one hand is enough to hold her. So, when people say something like that, it reminds me of the phrase in Hindi ‘maa se jyada mausi ko dard’.”
“Yes, I am a public figure and people will have opinions. A good deed never has so many comments. Not only holding a baby but also about what you are feeding the baby, everything they have an opinion on. People around me remind me at that time that I am doing good, and no one really knows why I am doing what, so it is best to continue doing it because it might inspire someone in the process. There are so many times I learn from comments too. Right now, I have learnt to take these comments with a pinch of salt because I have enough protective people around me who calm me down when things run over the brim,” she added.
