A Mysterious Illness Turned Me Into A Vampire. My Diagnosis Was Both A Relief — And Devastating.

"I pulled all the lightbulbs out of their sockets; the brightness stung my eyes. I did not know what was wrong with me, but I felt betrayed by my own body."

My son’s favorite song is “Vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo. It plays on a continuous loop in our home. I wonder if he is old enough to delight in the lore of the vampire, the figure’s sexy and mysterious violence, and the theatrical crescendos of Rodrigo’s voice: “Bloodsucker, fame fucker.”

In mid-October, he assembled a vampire costume for Halloween, replete with fangs, fake blood and a synthetic black cape that barely enveloped his 10-year-old frame.

I have a different impression of vampires now that I am one. Because of a condition called lupus, if I’m exposed to direct sunlight, even for 10 minutes, a fiery rash appears on my chest and chin, and a milder rash — call it a blush or a butterfly rash — spreads across my cheeks and nose.

The sun also causes me to turn febrile. I shiver and shake. It weakens my legs, sometimes to the point of immobility. It gives me one swollen, cyclopean eye. No wide-brimmed hat or SPF lotion can fully avert such reactions, so I retreat like a vampire into the dark lair of my home on sunny days. I have installed blinds throughout the bottom floor of the house to make the transformation complete. Call it Transylvania.

When the rashes first erupted at the beginning of last summer, I had hoped they were heat rashes, like the fiery bumps I remembered from childhood beach trips. And when the sweating began, I assumed it might be the early throes of menopause, which, at the age of 43, did not seem unimaginable.