5 Ways Sex Actually Improves During Perimenopause

Contrary to what you may have read, sex only gets better at this point in your life.

Rumor has it that perimenopause is a second puberty. But is the transition out of fertility really as challenging as the transition in?

If you’re like many people who menstruate, that idea feels daunting. Research has linked female puberty with anxiety, stress and depression. It’s easy to assume that perimenopause means not only similar emotional upheaval, but an end to your sex life.

One study showed that 69% of women glean much of their perimenopause information online. And while challenges leading up to your last period are real and worthy of support, messaging about perimenopause and sex seems deceptively negative. Low libido. Vaginal dryness. A sex life that shrivels up and dies.

Menopause has been medicalized to the point that it’s feared and avoided in sexual wellness conversations, noted Shannon Chavez, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. As a result, there’s little focus on how to “embrace this sexual stage of life feeling empowered and ready,” she said. “It’s often been viewed as an end of fertility and, therefore, an end of sexual relevance.” Women are discouraged from exploring ways to adapt to sexual changes and thus are often convinced their desirability, vitality and sexuality decline with age, Chavez said.

Those ideas may become self-fulfilling, given that sex-related beliefs can affect sexual function. If you consider great sex impossible as your fertility wanes, why even try to enjoy it? Such beliefs could stand in the way of potential positives, including the best sex you’ve ever had (yes, really!).