The Pope should know forgiveness can't be asked for, it must be offered

This column is an opinion by Albert Dumont, an activist, spiritual advisor, volunteer and poet. For more information about CBC's Opinion section, please see the FAQ.

My life was forever changed when the enormous cruelty of a person of my long-ago past left me emotionally and spiritually wounded.

I have often spoken about the darkness which entered my life because of the effects this person's actions had on my formative years. One day, as we talked on the subject of forgiveness, a friend asked if it was possible for me to find it in my heart to forgive the person who brought such profound dysfunction, through their cruelty, into my life. My answer was, "No, I cannot forgive this person." 

Why? It is simply because the person I speak of (now deceased) never came to my door and asked forgiveness of me. 

If the guilty person would have come to my home and spoken words of regret and remorse for their long-ago cruelty, I would have invited the person into the warmth of my humble abode where a circle would be formed. The sacred items of our spiritual beliefs (theirs and mine) would be placed in the centre of the circle and a conversation would then occur. 

I, as the person who suffered at the hands of the guilty party, would expect to hear — in detail — why the person did what they did to alter so severely my human right to emotional and spiritual wellness. 

If I felt, because of the words spoken in the circle, that the sorrow of the person was real and truly in line with what I define as a genuine "act of contrition," I have little doubt I would forgive the person whose cruelty contributed to my life going out of control in my younger years. 

To be clear, if the person whose cruelty caused so much emotional turmoil in my life had never sought me out for forgiveness (they did not), then no forgiveness from me would ever have had a chance of occurring. I would be at peace with leaving it in the domain of Creator, where I am confident justice would come to pass. 

No one escapes justice! Not me, not you, not the Pope, nor any other human being gets away with doing wrong, nor will any house of worship (including the Catholic Church) guilty of crimes against humanity escape justice after Creator's historical review takes place.

The Indigenous people in Canada who suffered so greatly at residential schools have not waited for the Pope to come to their door. Instead, they have gone to his house, asking to receive an apology for the wrongs of the past. 

To me, it's a very strange way of going about it. 

If the Pope is interested in forgiveness, then it should have been on him to request a time where he could, with lowered shoulders, be given an opportunity to plead for forgiveness. The Pope should forever be mindful that the dead children of the residential schools have a say in it! 

Will there be a healing circle where the Pope and Indigenous people can heal together? What will the church do to make amends? 

Two of my published poems connect to this very topic. I offer them now and am hopeful that you will spiritually and emotionally connect with them.