Metabolism in adulthood does not slow as commonly believed, study finds

A revelatory new study has determined that metabolism, long thought by most of humankind to decline progressively during adulthood, is actually stabilized between the ages of 20 and 60 — when it actually starts tanking.

An international team of killjoy researchers, whose work was published Friday in the journal Science, discovered that metabolism is at its highest in infants — naturally — who burn calories about 50% faster than adults. That rate declines yearly by about 3% until they reach the age of 20 or so, when metabolism plateaus through middle adulthood. At 60, the slump returns at a depressing rate of about 1% more per year until we drop dead. What this means: We can no longer blame middle-age as the primary reason for amassing newfound weight. For accuracy, researchers accounted for metabolic differences in volunteers, such as body size muscle to fat composition.