Cyrus Broacha doesn’t judge. For a good reason...

After 22 years of marriage, the couple has a healthy social life and mutual understanding. The wife is uncomfortable with the writer's colleague, Bella, who transitioned genders. The writer must find a way to cancel the rendezvous or risk his wife's disapproval.

The wife and I have reached a healthy point in our marriage. We still have a healthy social life. This we do by going out thrice a week. Me on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and she on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Also, after 22, years of marriage (ok let me just google that to be sure) yup, like I said, 22 years of marriage, mutual understandings are coded into the contract indirectly. Simple rules, conventions, if you like. For instance, we can both criticize my family to our hearts content. But for her family? We have to observe omertà, the code of silence. Her family can never be mentioned. In fact, if you’ve just read that sentence, promise me, you will erase it from your memory forever. Of course, why would you commit to memory, anything that I write? That would be preposterous beyond ridiculous.

Now, let’s come to the present issue. In earlier columns, the gifted reader would note that I come to the exact topic of the column only in the last four lines of the piece. This kind of lazy writing is what got Art Buchwald a Pulitzer. To be absolutely honest, at this point, I can’t afford a Pulitzer. This is because I have so many Lions Club, Rotary and Rotaract awards, that the cabinet has no space to accommodate a Pulitzer.

Enough talk about Pulitzer. Let’s just say it’s a matter of time, and leave it at that. Here’s the issue, the conundrum (all right, I don’t really know what conundrum means but I felt the use of it would be empowering). The wife, recently met a colleague of mine, who happens to be one of those people who migrated. Sorry, I apologise, migrated is not the correct word. The word is transitioned, and no, I am not able to find a suitable synonym in Hindi, although parivartan comes close.

My colleague, who shall appear nameless, is called ‘Bella’. This is because he presently is a ‘she’. Give me a second, its time to put my gloves on, so I handle this whole thing real sensitively, otherwise, no Pulitzer.

Bella, whose identity must be hidden, was born a male. He was named Bhavesh, but, unfortunately, he didn’t feel he was a Bhavesh. At first, his parents, though inconvenienced, offered him options. He turned down Paresh, Jignesh, Sailesh, and thought for a minute before rejecting Kamlesh. Long story medium, he started identifying himself as a lady.

Finally, after some material success, (his father died and left him some money and a dish washer) he decided to take the plunge and change his gender. To make this long story even less medium, after two years, Bhavesh made way for Bella.