A Medical Condition Upended My Life. Then A Doctor Said 6 Shocking Words I Never Thought I’d Hear.

“I’ve been deathly allergic to being exposed to even a minuscule amount.”

I’m nervously waiting in an exam room at my doctor’s office to see if my body is about to enter anaphylaxis. Nurses monitor my vitals and check to see how open my breathing passages are. Technically, I could die within the next hour because I’ve ingested peanuts — the thing I’m most allergic to — but I did it on purpose.

Why would I have tested fate this way? Because I’m hoping to never face the possibility of anaphylaxis from peanuts again.

I’ve been deathly allergic to being exposed to even minuscule amounts of peanuts for as long as I can remember. That may sound dramatic, but they have killed people. Last year, 25-year-old Orla Ruth Baxendale died after eating cookies that did not list peanuts in their ingredients, but did contain them. Although she carried multiple EpiPens, they were not enough to counter the effects of the allergen.

I’ve been terrified of heartbreaking stories like Baxendale’s for as long as I can remember. When I was 13, I ruined my first kiss by pushing the guy away and crying, “You haven’t eaten any peanuts today, have you?”

Thankfully, I eventually found a supportive partner willing to give up peanuts for my safety. He forewent cuisines, restaurants and trips to countries that often use the nut, and obsessively began to read the fine print on food packages.