Misunderstanding about St. Thomas resident's queer identity has led to isolation, depression

Renee Senior from St. Thomas, Ont., fully realized who they were later in life. Senior now identifies as non-binary, and is agender, but said misunderstandings about their identity have led to isolation and depression. 

Senior told CBC News that they're often misgendered, or referred to as a gender that they are not, which makes them feel as though they aren't seen. 

"It causes a lot of sadness, especially if I've already told them this is who I am," Senior explained. "And they just can't handle that part, and they refer to me as different. So then I'm realizing, A, there's no respect there. B, I can't just be myself in the way I am." 

Nonbinary folks don't necessarily feel that they're female or male. They could feel like they're both or neither, and often go by the pronouns "they" or "them." 

"And the dysphoria itself is like this sadness, this, how can I put it? It's like my body is something other than how I feel inside, so it contradicts it. It brings up a lot of feelings of less self-worth, sadness, depression."

When it comes to people in their personal life who Senior has told their pronouns to, some won't put in the effort to understand or will just ignore it. 

"It can be hurtful in trying to develop relationships with people, whether that be like in communities or just friendships, trying to build friendships," they said. "It makes you not want to hang out with people who can't respect your pronoun and what you said you are."

"When it gets a little closer to home and it's people, extended relatives, things like that, it can be really damaging because you just want to hang out with them. You don't want to be around them because it always causes me dysphoria."

Not being able to connect is isolating, but staying away allows Senior to avoid dysphoria and stay safe.

Transgender activist Elliot Duvall said that work still needs to be done in London when it comes to understanding folks who identify as nonbinary. 

"A lot of people just assume that when they look at somebody that they can see their gender right away, and that's not necessarily it," said Duvall, who is a coordinator with Trans* London. 

Duvall said that in London it is "very stereotypic" in that if somebody is female presenting, people will assume they're a woman, which isn't the case with nonbinary people.