International students call for queer-specific mental support as they hide identities at home

In Canada, Yatharth Sethi is a queer 22-year-old studying computer science who likes to cook with their partner on the weekends. 

But at home in India, Sethi plays the role of a straight person, looking forward to marriage and having kids.

"It is extremely hard. Every time I have to visit my home country, there is a major identity crisis and I have to constantly switch between who I am and who I have to pretend to be," said Sethi, not their real name. CBC News has agreed to keep Sethi's identity confidential due to safety concerns that the source might face back in India.

Many queer international students have to wear a "mask" the minute they go back to their home countries. They are forced to go back into the closet, adhering to the societal conventions of their countries. 

The issue is top of mind as Canadian universities are welcoming a cohort of new and returning post-secondary students from around the world for the fall semester. Canada is one of the world's most sought-after markets for international students, attracting almost 800,000 in 2022 alone. 

At the same time, many countries are becoming more hostile to LGBTQ individuals. In Nigeria, for instance, police arrested more than 60 people in a raid on an apparent same-sex wedding early Monday, while Ugandan authorities are for the first time charging a man with "aggravated homosexuality," an offence that can be punishable by death under the country's anti-LGBTQ legislation.

It could be religious doctrines condemning homosexuality, cultural values that emphasize traditional family structures, and legal systems that criminalize the LGBTQ+ community. As a result, queer international students might find themselves in situations where they need to suppress their authentic selves and adopt a different persona.

Sethi is not the only one. Ahmed Jarb, a 23-year-old queer international student from Palestine, raised the concern of micro-analyzing one's behaviour to hide their sexual identity from family back in Palestine. 

"It definitely is strange because you're living [in Canada], a certain life, and then you go [to Palestine], and you live another life…You have to be really careful who you're talking to, what you say, things you don't say," said Jarb, not their real name. CBC News has agreed to keep their identity confidential due to safety concerns.

Sethi says visits back to India include making up a fake girlfriend so that relatives do not get suspicious.

"I have to hide my identity. That's your biggest thing. I have to hide myself when I am in conversations … It feels kind of claustrophobic in the sense that I am isolated, I don't belong here."

Kamal Al-Solaylee, the director of the School of Journalism, Writing and Media at the University of British Columbia who identifies as gay, was an international student from Yemen in London during the 1980s when homosexuality was still punishable by death in Yemen.

"When I used to go back to Yemen as an international student, I used to retreat back into the closet," Al-Solaylee said. "It was a survival skill." 

The struggle to stay true to one's identity when being pushed to go back in a closet can be complex.