In This Brand-New Year, Forgive Past Slights And Bring In Joy

BEA L HINES AS I write this column, I do so with a heart full of gratitude, realizing that the God has brought us over into a brand new year. What is so am...

BEA L HINESAS I write this column, I do so with a heart full of gratitude, realizing that the God has brought us over into a brand new year. What is so amazing about that is we, myself included, didn’t do anything to deserve this outpouring of grace. It is a gift from our Heavenly Father. I know. You are probably still reeling from the number of people who have died from COVID. Perhaps many from among your own family and circle of friends. I understand. I do. We have all been touched by this horrible virus. Even so, today I urge you to take a minute and think about what we still have and make a vow to work to make this new year a better one for all. How do we do that? It’s very simple. First, let’s work at clearing out hatred and jealousy from our hearts and minds. It won’t be easy if you have fed yourself a steady diet of these two things that are so detrimental to the well being of the human body. Still, it can be done. The hard part is being willing to admit that we have a problem. This calls for some deep soul-searching. In many cases, what we find won’t be pretty. Turning the searchlight on one’s self is scary business because we will always see stuff that we have swept under the rug, so to speak. Once we have worked on ridding ourselves of hatred and jealousy, let’s work on forgiveness. We all have been hurt by someone we love. Somehow we seem to be able to tolerate hurt from strangers more than we can from then people who say they love us. Mulling over hateful words and actions from those we love seems like a good place to be. We don’t want to forget. That way we can always hold their actions/words over their heads and use it as a reminder from time to time. And so the sore just keeps on getting bigger and bigger. AVOID A ‘PITY PARTY’ While you might be comfortable going over and over in your mind what someone did to hurt you, trust me; it is not a good place for you to be. It is called a pity party and you are the only guest. Those who hurt you usually move on swiftly with their lives. Very often, they don’t even know they have hurt you. Even if they are aware, they may not apologize. When this happens, please known that is on them. Propose in your heart not to let anyone steal your joy. Smile, even when you might feel like crying. It helps. Don’t ever let anyone tell you when, or when not, to be happy. You won’t be able to move on until you have forgiven the person or persons who hurt you. When you forgive from the heart, it seems like a ton of bricks have just been lifted from your shoulders. I am a witness. Once you have mastered the art of forgiveness, why not add a little kindness to your lifestyle? Everyone needs to be reminded that they matter. A simple compliment can go a long way.KIND WORDS CAN HELPOnce, long before our beautiful building at One Herald Plaza was demolished, I shared an elevator with a young man. We spoke and he shared that he had just had an interview for a job with the paper. He said he had come from out of town. He was obviously nervous and kept fidgeting with his tie and jacket. I wanted to put him at ease and told him how nice he looked. His face lit up and he said, “You think so? I wanted to look nice for my interview.” I told him not to worry. And he stepped off the elevator smiling. Simple words of kindness from me gave that young man a bit of added confidence. Never mind that I walked out of the building, right into a pillar! I was so happy that I’d made his day, that I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. I remember hoping the young man hadn’t seen my little accident. Even so, walking into that pillar was a small price to pay for giving a stranger, who seemed to need it at the time, a kind word. It made his day. And mine, too. I have passed on to you some simple ways to make 2022 a better year for you and for those around you. Once we practice trying to love instead of hating; being happy for some one’s success instead of being jealous; forgiving and letting go, instead of holding on to pain, and practicing patience and random acts kindness, we will soon forget about pitying ourselves. We will learn to be more patient with others, allowing room for errors. The searchlight that we turn on ourselves will go into the dark corners of our hearts and let us also see our own faults. I am not a psychologist, but I have lived long enough, and have been through enough to know what works. My formula for what makes a better person is very simple: Treat others the way you want them to treat you. The new year has given each of us a clean slate. Yesterday, or yesteryear, is a memory. It is up to us today. What we do with the rest of the year is what matters now.(Bea L Hines can be reached at [email protected])