I can't forget Canada froze bank accounts of protesters. Now singing O Canada feels hollow

This First Person column is the experience of Gord Larson, who lives in Calgary, and is part of a Canada Day series exploring what Canada means to people across this country. For more information about First Person stories, see the FAQ.

I've never felt more patriotic pride than when singing O Canada with a crowd of hundreds at a protest shutting down the Coutts border crossing.

It was February 2022. My wife had just lost her job after refusing to get vaccinated against COVID-19. I worried I might be next, but took heart as the trucker convoy headed to Ottawa. We couldn't join them, so instead we drove south from Calgary to Coutts, Alta., for two days to show our support.

The crowd was so big that we had to walk 15 minutes down the highway just to get to the protest. The spirit of community, where everyone just wanted to pitch in and help, was almost overwhelming.

A pastor led us in prayer and then the whole crowd launched into O Canada, just belting it out with everything we had. I even saw the RCMP join in the singing. Just typing this and remembering that moment makes the hair on my arms stand up.

What does Canada mean to me? In that moment, I was filled with pride. I saw Canada as a force for democracy and freedom in the world and felt sure it would listen to the voice of its own citizens. 

But this feeling didn't last. Ottawa's response to these protests left me feeling betrayed, and today I'm at a place where I never thought I'd be: in favour of separatism. 

I was born in Chilliwack, B.C. I was a bit of a nerd for politics and paid attention when Reform candidate Chuck Strahl came to speak with my high school graduating class in 1993. He shared the party's plans for a more inclusive system, one with a balance of power that wouldn't allow Quebec's separatist debates to keep dominating the national agenda.

Repeating the party slogan, he said, "The West wants in!"

And for me, as a young man eavesdropping on my parents' frustrated conversations, that made everything click. 

Later that year, I was old enough to vote.

I was standing in line at the voting location when I heard another voter say the election had already been called for the Jean Chrétien Liberals. The votes from Atlantic and Central Canada were enough for a win. It felt like my vote didn't even matter. 

I learned a lot about the roots of Western alienation in the years that followed. 

I studied political science at the University of Northern British Columbia in Prince George and learned we've never had true proportional representation in Canada because of the grandfather and senatorial clauses in the Constitution. The smaller provinces in Atlantic Canada are always overrepresented compared to provinces such as Alberta and Ontario.