How to draw a digital boundary after a breakup

As our homes fill with smart devices and shared subscriptions, it is far easier for people to intrude into others’ personal lives even after a breakup.

Whether you are permanently cutting contact with a family member or asking your ex-partner to leave your home forever, a breakup comes with a merciless to-do list that couldn’t care less about your heart. As your and their lives joined together, so did your digital worlds. Now, it is time to separate the two again and set down a boundary. However, this doesn’t just mean deleting your Instagram selfies or blocking each other online.

As our homes fill with smart devices and shared subscriptions, it is far easier for people to intrude into each other’s personal lives even after a breakup. In the case of a toxic or abusive individual, this interference can put your life in danger. Can the person you broke up with access your car with their phone? Can they use your credit card to pay for their Amazon purchases? Can they track your movements through your phone or vehicle? Do they know the answers to your common security questions? Can they use their voice to bypass a smart lock and enter your home?

The answer to all these questions should be a firm and resounding no.

But even after a friendly separation where you and the other person continue to be coffee buddies, it is vital that you step up your digital security. Let’s take a look.

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In the days and weeks following a breakup, monitor your credit/debit statements carefully and keep an eye out for any suspicious transactions. Report these to your bank as soon as you can.

Coming to emails and messages, be alert when you receive login notifications that do not correspond to your activity, or when you see password changing attempts not made by you. Do not click on unknown links or download any media from unsolicited messages.