Holiday togetherness can also mean family fights. But there are ways to try to sidestep the drama

The holidays, a time where families and friends can get together to talk, to laugh — or get into screaming arguments

The holidays, a time where families and friends can get together to talk, to laugh — or get into screaming arguments.

There are plenty of reasons togetherness can turn into tension — maybe that cousin you mostly love has that one opinion on politics or world events you just can't stand, or that one nosy grandparent won't stop asking about your life choices. Perhaps someone at the table is struggling with a substance abuse issue or a mental health concern. And don't forget that person who is just mean and miserable and spoiling for a fight.

It can be enough to make you want to hit the eggnog extra hard. But experts in psychology and mental health say it doesn't have to be that way, and they offer suggestions for how to help manage gatherings that might be less than jolly:

It's important for people to know why they are going into situations they know could be tense or worse, says Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D, a licensed clinical psychologist who talks about the damage of narcissistic relationships.

Whether that's because there are other relatives they want to see or some other reason that is worth the potential drama, it's vital “to be clear on the reason,” she says, “because otherwise you feel like you’re just sort of a moth to the flame.”