A petty fight taught me how much I actually do love multigenerational living
CBC
This First Person column was written by Calgary resident Thao Nguyen. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.
My brother Dai threatened to evict my beautiful tropical plant from our living room.
"Take it to your room or I will dump it."
I was livid. Could he not see it was the perfect spot for a philodendron selloum? Sure, I had assured Dai when I bought the plant that it would live in my room, but it had grown and needed more space.
We were two adults fighting over a plant and this — sometimes — is multigenerational living.
I'm 30 and I live in a two-story duplex house in Forest Lawn in Calgary's southeast with Dai, who is 27, my husband Josh, my three-year-old daughter, both my parents and our two dogs.
And I love it most of the time.
"Do whatever you want!" I yelled in frustration.
Without saying another word, Dai carried my plant out the back door, then disappeared into the basement.
More than 10 years ago, I moved to Canada from Vietnam to attend college and met Josh. Then Dai arrived a year later and the three of us lived together until I sponsored my parents in 2018, making it five. Dai and I are now proud Canadian citizens.
We still live together because multigenerational households are the norm in Vietnamese culture, and are becoming more common in Canada, too. My husband has European ancestry, and was born and raised in Saint John. When we married he embraced this living arrangement as well. Both of us really value family.
We share costs, including the mortgage and groceries, and save time by sharing house chores.
My mom cooks breakfast for the family before work; my dad loads the dishes in the dishwasher, prepares dinner and cleans the main floor; Dai, Josh and I take turns preparing lunch for the next day. We each do our own laundry and clean our own rooms.
Living in a multigenerational household is not for everyone. For example, it can lead to a gendered division of roles. In some Vietnamese families, women often do all the house chores. And sometimes, family dynamics can involve control or abuse.