Why deathbed dreams and visions can be a comfort for the dying — and those left behind
CBC
As Charlotte Good was dying of pancreatic cancer in a Toronto hospital in 2007, she experienced a dream or vision of her own mother — who had died years before.
Charlotte's daughter, Cynthia Good, was staying over that night and sensed that she'd sat up.
"I got up and I went to her side," said Cynthia, a former publisher and educator living in Toronto.
"She just said to me, 'I see my mother, she is holding beautiful dresses.'"
As she held Charlotte's hand, Cynthia said: "Go to your mother."
Charlotte didn't seem afraid, but peaceful, and perhaps even happy, Cynthia said. The two women had spent the evening together at Toronto Grace Health Centre, and Cynthia remembers Charlotte being alert. They'd completed a crossword puzzle together and watched the Blue Jays game — even singing along to Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
"She went back to sleep and I went back to sleep. But probably not much later, I was aware that she wasn't breathing, and the nurse was in the room."
Charlotte, 75, died that night. But the dream offered great comfort in that difficult time.
"I think she felt that she was … actually going to her mother. And what a beautiful thing to believe at that moment," said Cynthia.
Dr. Christopher Kerr has spent more than a decade researching these kinds of dreams and visions, interviewing hundreds of people about their experiences as they get closer to death.
"Dying is this unique vantage point, which changes one's perspective and perception," said Kerr, a physician and CEO at Hospice and Palliative Care Buffalo, in Buffalo, N.Y.
"It naturally draws you inward. There's reflection, and often people focus on the best points of having lived and having mattered. And that's usually our relationships."
Since Kerr's first paper in 2014, he has published multiple studies on the phenomenon, and explores those findings in a 2015 TedTalk and his book Death Is But a Dream: Finding Hope and Meaning at Life's End.
In his studies, patients respond to a standardized questionnaire about what they experienced and how real it felt. Many reported seeing deceased loved ones or even old pets. Love, forgiveness and reassurance were common themes.