‘Ted Lasso’ star’s real-life soccer drama after her boyfriend caught top player in her bed — and attacked him

She shot and scored.

In her new memoir, “Everyone’s Seen My T-ts,” “Ted Lasso” actress and writer Keeley Hazell recalled the night in 2006 that her then-boyfriend had a violent reaction when he caught British soccer star Joe Cole in her bed.

Hazell, 38, referred to her former partner as “Theo” in her book, but the Daily Mail reported that “Theo” is actually former soccer player and body builder Lloyd Miller.

In the Daily Mail’s excerpt from her memoir, Hazell explained that one night Cole got too drunk at Embassy Club in London’s West End with his teammates, so she and her friend helped him out by getting him into a cab and taking him to her parents’ home in Southeast London.

After putting Cole to bed, the former Page 3 Girl was shocked when Miller called her and told her he was coming over to get his car key from inside the house.

“Before I could mentally untangle myself, he arrived,” Hazell wrote. “I kissed him hello, trying to act sane while freaking out on the inside at the very real possibility that JC could wake up at any moment, shuffle down the stairs, and, well, ruin my life.”