Sask. residents say more resources needed for suicide prevention, family supports
CBC
In the corner of her garden in Regina, Jennifer Varga has preserved cherished memories of her late son, Dayton, and husband, Curtis. She lost both of them to suicide, and she often sits there to chat with them.
"We were totally blindsided. [Dayton] showed no signs of depression or anything. One day I just came home and he was gone. Losing a child is soul crushing," Varga said.
"Dayton was a very passionate football player, funny, popular but also very quiet. He didn't let a lot of people in, but if he did, he ensured you felt loved. He was a special boy and touched many lives."
In January 2020, Dayton died of suicide. Varga said the 15-year-old's behaviour had changed a month before, as he would spend more time in his room in the dark, always busy on his phone.
"Whenever I would push, I'd always get, 'Mom, I'm fine.' It almost felt as if I was bugging him. I didn't think anything was up," she said. "It was shocking. I would have done anything to help him."
Dayton would have graduated this year and had dreamed of continuing his education at university. His bed sits the way he last touched it and his clothes are still in the closet. Varga's aunt and mother-in-law also have patches bearing mementos in their gardens.
"Once we lost Dayton, Curtis's mental health took the deepest dive. He went from a very proud, confident, hard-working man to a broken person," Varga said.
"He couldn't leave the house. He was in a manic depression."
Varga said there was not much support she could find for her husband.
"He couldn't find his purpose anymore. We struggled with getting him help. He felt defeated."
The family looked for postvention help, which refers to assistance addressing the immediate psychological needs of family members and friends of people who have died by suicide.
"I started searching the web looking for resources and options we had, but there was nothing," Varga said.
She managed to find counselling for her husband, but in vain. He was put on some medications but stopped using them after a year and a half as they "numbed him," she said.
In July 2022, Curtis died of suicide. Now, Varga said her other son is her rock.
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