My son was more than 'just' an addict
CBC
This First Person article is written by Shirley Nicholson who lives in Winnipeg. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.
My son was just an addict.
That's what some people say. He was nothing but an addict. Like he planned this. Like he really didn't want to live.
But he was so much more than his addictions. He was our son. He was someone's brother. He was someone's grandson, nephew and cousin. He was loved so much. He loved us.
Yes, he made some really bad choices in his life, and he paid for them dearly. He had spent time in both provincial and federal prisons. But he made parole and started a new life. We thought he was well on his way, but addictions are cunning and baffling diseases.
Just sitting in the background.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Until you have a good day.
Until you have a bad day.
Until it's just any day.
Then it strikes.
From everything I've learned about my son's addiction to alcohol and drugs, the craving, the need and the desperation to have that fix never goes away. Some can work past it. Some can go to Narcotics Anonymous or a rehab program and work their way through it. The need to stay sober must be stronger than the need to get a fix.
People say it's a choice. What I saw from my son's behaviour is that addicts don't really have a choice. The addiction has the control, the power, the say in whether they use again.
We lost our son six hours after he wished his dad happy birthday.