'I wasn't fooling anybody' — Windsor construction worker thankful for recovery from almost 20 years addiction
CBC
As a bodybuilder and a foreman on the Gordie Howe International Bridge, Ryan Mills doesn't look like the image of a drug addict in most people's minds.
The 38-year-old Windsor tradesman is going public about nearly 20 years of struggling with substance abuse, in hopes of motivating others like himself to find help — especially those in his industry.
"I remember I was 17. A co-worker offered me a Percocet to get through the day. My back was sore," Mills told CBC Windsor. "I chased that. I wanted that all the time. It made work easier."
"Work would end, and I'd want cocaine to get me back up again. So now, I had multi-addictions going on. I was using Percocets in the day, (oxycodone) during the day, and then cocaine at night."
Despite his daily usage, Mills was able to continue to work, gain skills, and build a life for himself. By his own admission, he was a "functioning addict."
"You know, I had a house, three cars at the time, and this boat, and I was very proud of all those things."
As the years of addiction continued and Mills's life began to spiral, the material successes disappeared — and his relationships deteriorated.
"It wasn't losing the house, the cars and everything that made me realize I needed help," Mills explained. "It was when my family didn't know what to do with me anymore. My real friends didn't want to talk to me."
About four years ago, Mills made the decision to enter the live-in program at Brentwood Recovery Home — a community organization he credits for saving his life. "I had to face all the things I was doing to other people around me, and the harm I was doing to myself."
Being able to immerse himself in treatment was vital, but Mills feels the strength of Brentwood is in its follow-up support. After leaving the live-in program, he has continued to attend group counselling sessions three times a week.
"My group leaders, the men of the circles — we have a big strong alumni presence at Brentwood. Those are the people you get your advice from. You learn from their mistakes, and we learn from each other's mistakes."
Brentwood's support network was especially helpful when Mills found himself relapsing with alcohol, and needing to return to treatment for a "tune up."
Mills is also grateful for the understanding of his employer, and the backing of his union, LiUNA!625.
"When I got my boss on board and told him what was going on, to my shock — he already (knew)," Mills recalled.
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