I'm Chinese-Romanian. It took moving to Toronto to meet someone like me

This First Person column is the experience of Angelina King who is Chinese-Romanian. For more information about CBC's First Person stories, please see the FAQ.

I've never got to discuss being Chinese-Romanian with anyone outside my family — until this month when I met a Chinese-Romanian chef in Toronto.

I grew up navigating two cultures in Saskatoon, which was difficult all on its own, but I didn't think too much about it.

It was routine to have a lamb roasting on a spit in the backyard every summer while my dad cooked a stew in a cauldron over an open fire. I didn't question crushing grapes with my feet as a child for homemade wine. Or having yet another Romanian person stay at our family's home while they settled in Canada.

Similarly, I looked forward to getting red envelopes on Lunar New Year from my mom. Dim sum with chicken feet and tripe was a weekend ritual and I felt special when my mom brought home the Chinese lion dance costume for me to try on.

I grew up hearing both Romanian and Taishanese in my home. As I got older, I realized this was "different" from my friends' upbringing, but I was still proud of my cultures.

There was that time though, on the playground when a boy pulled the skin across his eyes, chased me down the slide and called me a racial slur.

Most encounters now are more complicated. I often grapple with an inner dialogue after someone insults Chinese people either knowing, or not knowing, I'm Chinese. I quickly decide if I have the energy to say something: do I speak up and educate them? 

Once, after I called out a good friend for making an offensive comment, she said, "Well, you're not that Chinese."

Then, how Chinese am I?

When you're mixed race, rediscovering culture means rediscovering two cultures. It can be complex and confusing — why do I say I'm Chinese-Romanian and not Romanian-Chinese? It can be a fragile balance ⁠—  wanting to ensure respect is paid to both cultures equally. It can bring up feelings of guilt —  wishing I was more connected to both my cultures.⁠⁠

For me, part of rediscovering my cultures is learning from others and hearing their stories.

When I read an article about Haan Palcu-Chang, a Chinese-Romanian chef in Toronto, I knew we had to connect. Aside from his sister, I'm now the only other Chinese-Romanian he knows.

After cooking Asian food for most of his career, Palcu-Chang recently opened a Romanian pop-up restaurant called Mamaliga, which he says helps connect him to a culture he was afraid of losing.