5 Ways Being A People-Pleaser Could Ruin Your Relationship
HuffPost
Being conflict-averse and neglecting your own needs isn't just hurting you ― it's hurting your partner, too.
There’s nothing particularly pleasing about being a people-pleaser in a relationship. Your needs and desires go unmet, and all the while, your partner may start to feel like they’ve never met the “real” you.
Changing your ways isn’t easy, though, because most people-pleasers have been doing it for years, said Abigail Makepeace, a marriage and family therapist in Austin, Texas.
A child learns how to people-please by first learning how to parent-please. In relationships, they follow a similar script, developing a knack for partner-pleasing.
“After all that time, prioritizing what you need can feel emotionally risky,” Makepeace said. “Standing up for yourself may even feel selfish.”
“If you identify as a people-pleaser, it is important to know that it is normal to experience fear or even guilt when sharing how you truly feel, but it will get easier with time,” she told HuffPost.
