Why not everyone in Hollywood loves using intimacy co-ordinators

Before it went home with the best picture Oscar, Anora had been courting controversy in Hollywood — not so much for having a sex worker as its title character, but because it didn't have a specialist on set to help with the racier scenes. 

Such "intimacy co-ordinators" have become more common on film and TV shoots since 2017's #MeToo movement and its widespread accounts of on-set harassment. They're meant, among other tasks, to prevent abuse and coercion.

But despite being endorsed by producers, unions and many performers, what is perhaps Hollywood's newest profession is not its most loved. 

"We're our own intimacy co-ordinators," Anora director Sean Baker said in 2024, responding to the then-swirling controversy, which was largely centred on social media.

Baker wasn't alone. Star Mikey Madison earlier told Variety's Actors on Actors she and others on set requested to work without one. 

"We decided it would be best to keep it small... to streamline it, shoot it really quickly," she said.

Her reasons echo other concerns voiced by actors, even as the role becomes an established aspect of Hollywood filmmaking.

The job also involves co-ordination with actors, costumers, special effects and crew regarding how much skin will be shown. Intimacy co-ordinators discuss, identify and comfort those on set potentially triggered by displays of traumatic sexual activity. They discuss and confirm who touches what — and what remains off-limits — between performers, making sure everyone is prepared and on-board with the director's vision.

"The way I describe it, is often in parallel to a stunt co-ordinator," said intimacy co-ordinator Jessica Steinrock. Both make it look like something powerfully physical is happening, "like a fist is coming into contact with someone's face."

Likewise for an intimacy co-ordinator, she said. "Those titles are paralleled for this reason."

Some producers, like HBO, require intimacy co-ordinators for all productions with intimate or sexual scenes, while Netflix made them part of its series Bridgerton and The Witcher. 

In SAG-AFTRA's standards and protocols, the acting union states it "believes" intimacy co-ordinators should be used in scenes involving nudity or simulated sex, or when actors request one. In its most recent contract, the union stated producers must put in their "best efforts" to work with one, and "consider in good faith" actors' requests to have an intimacy co-ordinator.

And many performers who have worked with them have come to think of intimacy co-ordinators as vital to their craft — allowing them to express intimate feelings without being affected by potentially associated trauma.

"The feeling that we're trying to give in a real way without feeling, you know, invaded upon," said actor L.A. Sweeney. She has worked with intimacy co-ordinators since 2022, when she appeared in ABC's Last Resort. There, and since, she says, co-ordinators were vital to protect a potentially difficult process of expressing intimacy in front of a camera.