"Was Not Enjoying The Game": Ravichandran Ashwin Reveals "Mental Trauma"

Ravichandran Ashwin was never Team India's first-choice spinner in the recent foreign tours but the off-spinner has had brilliant numbers in the past few years. Speaking on his non-selection even after performing well, the 35-year-old revealed an episode of "mental trauma".

In recent times, India's star bowler Ravichandran Ashwin has not been the team's first-choice Test spinner in foreign tours. The off-spinner was dropped from the team and left-arm spinner Ravindra Jadeja was chosen ahead of him a number of times in the away series. Since 2018, India toured England and Australia twice and South Africa and New Zealand once. Ashwin was never the team's first-choice spinner in all these tours but the off-spinner has had brilliant numbers in the past few years. Speaking on his non-selection even after performing well, the 35-year-old revealed an episode of "mental trauma".

"Between 2018 and 2020, I contemplated giving up the sport at various points. I thought, 'I have put in a lot of effort, but it is not coming through,'" Ashwin told ESPNcricinfo in an interview.

"The one thing I needed to figure out was: Why was my mind wanting to give up? Why did I want to quit? I was not enjoying the game. Why? Because the factors were all external. If I turned my attention inwards, I could enjoy the game. All I needed to accept was, whatever happens, if I am in the team, if I am not in the team, if I perform, if I don't perform, it will be on my terms," Ashwin said.

Ashwin also said that he considered the 2020-21 tour to Australia as his "last".

"When I boarded that flight to Australia, I genuinely told myself: This is your last tour. This is your last f***ing tour. Do not leave any stone unturned. Be extremely prepared when you get your first opportunity. It might not be the first game. It might be the second, it might be the third, it might be the fourth. Or you might sit out the entire series. I expected to sit out the entire series. I took my family along because I needed their support if I was not playing," said the off-spinner.