Toronto play ‘The Bidding War’ taps into city’s real estate anxiety

"The Bidding War" plays at Toronto's Crow's Theatre until Dec. 15.

During the pandemic, Michael Ross Albert grappled with a familiar kind of stress for many Torontonians: the uphill battle of trying to buy a home in the city.

“I remember walking out of the bank with the money order and thinking that I was holding in my hands probably more money than I might make in my lifetime,” recalls the Canadian playwright after buying his first condo.

“I was playing it cool and just pretending like this was totally a normal transaction. I got about four steps before I just puked all over Bay Street.”

With the average home price in the Greater Toronto Area expected to climb to $1.19 million by year’s end — a six per cent increase from 2023, per a new report by Royal LePage — Albert knows his experience resonates, given that home ownership feels out of reach for many.

So he’s channeled some of this real-estate tension into “The Bidding War,” a biting new comedy premiering Tuesday at Toronto’s Crow’s Theatre.

The play takes aim at Toronto’s housing crisis with a story set during a frantic, one-day bidding war over the city’s last affordable home. As the clock runs out, the fight for ownership devolves into chaos, laying bare the lengths to which people will go in their frantic quest for a foothold in the market.

Directed by Toronto’s Paolo Santalucia, the world premiere features an ensemble cast, including “Baroness Von Sketch Show” star Aurora Browne as savvy real-estate agent Blayne and “Letterkenny” star Gregory Walters as Charlie, one of the many buyers caught up in the madness.

Albert says he hopes “The Bidding War” exposes the “unfairness” of Toronto’s real estate system.