My Ridiculous Dating System Totally Works!

There’s just one catch.

Last year, in the middle of the pandemic, I appeared as a guest on a (now-defunct) dating show. With cameras rolling, I sat on a teal couch next to the show’s host, who had prepped for an interview with a man who is neurotic about dating — a man who composes spreadsheets of relationship stages and lists of traits of potential dates. That man is me. It’s who I am and what I do. In the host’s mind, my neurosis was bad. In mine, it was good. So good, in fact, that I recently had met a guy I liked and could see a future with. “So, Alex,” she said. “How’s your love life?”