Money causing relationship stress? How couples can ease financial tensions

Money is a common source of frustration in relationships, but experts suggest open communication and even financial therapy could improve conversations between partners.

If financial anxiety is causing friction between you and your partner this Valentine’s Day, you’re likely not alone.

Experts say money tensions can run deep in a relationship and, if left unaddressed, can lead to long-term dissatisfaction and frustration — beyond just who takes the bill after dinner.

Financial therapy is one emerging concept for how to address money miscommunications in a relationship, says Natasha Knox, principal of Alaphia Financial Wellness in British Columbia.

“Some couples are naturally in sync. But if a couple is finding that they’re having the same conversation over and over again and it’s not productive and they’re getting re-entrenched in their separate perspectives, then seeking someone who applies financial therapy would be a good starting point, I think, in helping to make a shift,” she tells Global News.

Financial therapy sees practitioners like Knox use therapeutic techniques in tandem with financial education to help clients “think, feel, act and communicate better around money,” she says.

Some people can get on-boarded to the process more from the financial end of the pipeline, working with a coach on their financial goals and using therapeutic techniques to manage their feelings around investments or other concerns. Others struggling primarily with mental wellness could work with a therapist on how anxiety or another illness is affecting their relationship with money.

Money concerns are, perhaps unsurprisingly, at the heart of many disagreements in a relationship, Knox says. She notes finances are “fundamental” to building a life together, be that day-to-day decisions on what to spend money on or saving and planning for a shared future.

“Money is what underlies everything a family does,” Knox says.