Mi'kmaw man makes videos to share day-to-day life with schizoaffective disorder

Squiggly white lines that create faces and and multiple distorted voices are how a Mi'kmaw artist depicts what it's like to experience schizoaffective disorder in an effort to help himself and others.

Christopher Grant began making the videos as an outlet for his own frustrations in dealing with the disorder but as he posted more, followers with the same condition began to let him know the videos were helping them, too. 

"I feel like I'm actually reaching people who not only understand me, but I'm trying to show them it's possible to actually get yourself out of this hole with social stigma," he said.

Grant is an artist and filmmaker from Pabineau First Nation in New Brunswick. He was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in 2017, after an episode of seeing and hearing things that others weren't. Grant said he was experiencing symptoms for years before the diagnosis. 

Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition where someone experiences episodes symptoms of schizophrenia, like hallucinations or delusions, in combination with mania or depression. It is different from schizophrenia.

He said it's a weird feeling that something he thought would alienate people instead has people like doctors, psychiatrists and lawyers reaching out to him to say the videos help them understand what their patients, clients or family members might be going through. 

Grant said one of the most difficult aspects of the disorder is the negative views he holds: shame, feeling alone and not fitting in. Through his art and videos, Grant said he has been able to be more self-aware and accepting of himself.

Watch | Mi'kmaw man makes videos of life with schizoaffective disorder:

His videos contain animations, like the squiggly faces, that are juxtaposed over his everyday surroundings and sometimes even himself. The animations fade in and out and chatting and laughing can be heard — something Grant said he doesn't find scary but sometimes actually comforting and beautiful.

"I've always grown up with the attitude that everything's connected, and that's kind of helped me." he said.

"It made it less terrifying and feel less imprisoning." 

Hailey Caine, who also has schizoaffective disorder, came across Grant's artwork through Instagram.

"He could have been completely bitter about the world, but he chose to do something and serve something greater than himself," she said. 

Caine, who lives in Tennessee and is an advocate for people living with the condition, said she thought it was a unique perspective.