Malaika Arora's Note To Self When Son Was Born: "Won't Lose Identity In Process Of Being A Mom"
NDTV
"Arbaaz and I've been a unit when it comes to parenting," wrote Malaika Arora
Malaika Arora, who has managed to strike a balance between her professional goals and personal life like a pro, in a recent piece for Humans Of Bombay, wrote about how she did it all, being a mom and diving duties as parents. She began the note with these words: "This will end your career!' is what people said when I was expecting. Back then, after marriage, you'd barely see an actress on screen. But being raised by women who advocated being independent, I knew motherhood just meant I was to essay one more role-the role of mom." She added in her note that she had two promises to live up to - being there for her son and not losing her identity. "I worked through my pregnancy-shuttling shows, and rehearsals. And when Arhaan was born, I promised to give him the world. I also promised myself-I won't lose my identity in the process of being a mom. Ever since, I've lived up to both the promises." she wrote.
The actress started working soon after Arhaan's birth but she would often feel the "working mom guilt." She wrote in her post: "2 months after delivery, I performed at an award show. I was proud of myself because I also made it back home in time to tuck Arhaan in bed. Knowing that I could juggle motherhood and work empowered me. In fact, I said yes to Karan for Kaal Dhamaal a year after delivery. But I had 'working mom' guilt. So, I maximized my time with Arhaan. Every morning, I'd sing Malayalam songs to him, the ones my mom sang to me. Then, I'd strap him on and run errands before heading to work. And I always made it back home in time to read to him. I also had a solid support system in my family."
Malaika Arora was previously married to actor-filmmaker Arbaaz Khan. They were married for 19 years, got divorced in 2017. Arbaaz and Malaika are parents to 19-year-old son named Arhaan. She mentioned in her post that she and Arbaaz had set rules. "And even Arbaaz and I had set rules -one parent was always present. No PTMs, or annual shows were missed. And I always picked him up or dropped him off at school. Soon, it became the highlight of my day. I spoke to Arhaan about everything! Even when Arbaaz and I told him we were separating, he understood. And ever since, regardless of our differences, Arbaaz and I've been a unit when it comes to parenting. When Arhaan had to shave, I called Arbaaz who took me through the process; it was fun," read an excerpt from her post.
Of not losing her identity bit, Malaika Arora wrote: "Today, Arhaan is my dearest friend. The morning singing routine has now transitioned into a Sunday cooking ritual. And now that he's away studying, we keep DM-ing recipes to each other. I miss him; the empty nest syndrome is real, but it's a good thing I kept my 2nd promise-to not lose my identity in the process of being a mom. I've my work, my friends and my life."
