Dr. Ruth Westheimer, America’s diminutive and pioneering sex therapist, dies at 96

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and bestselling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics has died.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and bestselling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, has died. She was 96.

Westheimer died Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu.

Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behaviour. Instead, she encouraged open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of.

“I still hold old-fashioned values, and I’m a bit of a square,” she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”

Westheimer’s giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking — and sounding — outlet for “sexual literacy.” The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.

But it was her extensive knowledge and training, coupled with her humorous, nonjudgmental manner, that catapulted her local radio program, “Sexually Speaking,” into the national spotlight in the early 1980s. She had an open approach to what two consenting adults did in the privacy of their home.

“Tell him you’re not going to initiate,” she told a concerned caller in June 1982. “Tell him that Dr. Westheimer said that you’re not going to die if he doesn’t have sex for one week.”

Her radio success opened new doors, and in 1983 she wrote the first of more than 40 books: “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” demystifying sex with both rationality and humour. There was even a board game, Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.