Column | Spells and a reluctant bride

Women are more than capable of saving themselves, says Phuphee. They don’t need magic, maybe just a helping hand

Years ago, on a hot summer’s day, Phuphee and I were lazing on the verandah. It was so hot that everyone refused to eat lunch and, instead, chose to nibble on cool cucumbers from the kitchen garden, which Phuphee drizzled with some honey and dusted with chilli powder and salt.

We were both looking up at the blazing blue sky, trying to discern animal shapes in the clouds, when we heard footsteps. We peeped through the rails to see a spindly man with a walking stick making his way towards us.

‘It is Hassan saab from Tengwani,’ Phuphee whispered. Tengwani was a village close by. She greeted him and asked after his family. She offered him a plate of honey-chilli cucumbers, which he decimated before washing it down with a large glass of cold lassi. After letting out a rather long and extended belch, he turned towards her and said, ‘My dearest sister, I am in desperate need of your help. If you do not help me, this devastated brother of yours will not know what to do with himself.’

Phuphee watched him for a minute or two, an expression of mild annoyance mixed with curiosity on her face. She lit a couple of cigarettes and smoked quietly. ‘What can I do to alleviate the deep suffering you find yourself in?’ she asked.

The gentleman narrated his tale of woe. He was a retired teacher whose wife had died many years ago. His children were grown up and married, and lived in the city. He wanted to get married again. He had a very handsome pension of ₹6,000, which he felt really ought to make any woman happy. No, he did not need help in finding a lady. He had already found one and that was where he needed help. The lady in question was a young widow of 36. She had two sons. Her husband had died unexpectedly a few years ago, and she had so far refused all offers of marriage.

‘You want me to talk to her on your behalf?’ asked Phuphee.

‘No,’ he said. He had tried that many times and she had flatly refused. ‘I see,’ Phuphee replied. ‘I guess there isn’t anything else I can do then.’