Child-free spaces, dirty looks on planes and ‘breeders’: Why people seem so annoyed by kids

Online conversations about children often suggest that adults shouldn’t have to endure them if they don’t want to. Scholars and parenting experts say these attitudes reflect broader shifts in US society.

In some corners of society, there appears to be a shift in the way people talk about kids. Every so often, a provocative social media post sets off predictably polarizing discourse about the presence of children in daily life. There was the woman who snarkily suggested that toddlers should be leashed. There was the guy who proudly posed outside of an establishment that declared itself “dog friendly” and “child free,” and the person who defended him by proclaiming that it was “fine and normal to dislike children.” In certain online communities, people sometimes express these attitudes even more jarringly, using terms such as “crotch goblins” for kids and “breeders” for parents. These attitudes show up offline, too. The issue of crying babies on planes is a frequent source of conflict, with some passengers glaring, yelling or more recently, locking the offending child in the lavatory to admonish them. And as people who seek to avoid loud or unruly children make known their preferences for childfree restaurants, grocery stores and flights, more businesses are catering to them. The implication (joking or otherwise) is that children are a nuisance and adults shouldn’t have to endure them if they don’t want to. The brazenness with which people express this attitude, even if it’s more a meme than anything else, has an effect on parents. Some parents (almost always mothers) are so attuned to the possibility that their child might inconvenience others that they constantly apologize for normal kid behavior. Others pass out ear plugs and candy on flights.