Are You in an ‘Inter-Intimate’ Relationship?

For some couples, having different nonsexual intimacy preferences can be a strain on the relationship. Here’s how to meet in the middle.

Hugs. Back rubs. Cuddling. Holding hands. There are many ways in which we show our love for our significant others, and we all need and want different amounts of emotional and physical intimacy. While couples with differing sex drives face hurdles, many couples may also be involved in “inter-intimate” relationships, where each partner has different preferences when it comes to giving and receiving nonsexual affection. “‘Inter-intimates’ describes the incongruent needs and desires that exist between people in a relationship, which inevitably will be mismatched at various times,” said Damon L. Jacobs, a marriage and family therapist in New York City.