An Ottawa hospital misidentified a dying patient. Now 2 families say they're being ignored

An Ottawa man says in the months since the Montfort Hospital misidentified his brother, allowing strangers to make decisions about his treatment — and ultimately, his remains — their family has endured waves of shock, grief and frustration.

Now they're getting used to a new feeling — being ignored.

"I think we're forgotten," he said. "Everything moved on — no one's thinking about us, that's for sure."

CBC has agreed to identify the man only by his first name, Sam, to protect his privacy, and because not every family member has been informed of all the circumstances surrounding their ordeal.

The family's last photos of the man who died show him in a hospital bed, covered in tubes and flanked by someone else's parents.

They were never told when the man was found unresponsive from a suspected overdose on Dec. 30, then placed on life support. It took more than a week after he died before they were even contacted.

By that time, his organs had been donated and his body cremated, all without the people who knew him best having a say in those end-of-life decisions.

There was no chance to say goodbye and no funeral. Instead, another family who believed the man was their son made those arrangements on his behalf.

After the misidentification was discovered, the Montfort shared its condolences and announced a review of what happened. Both the family of the man who died and the family of the man he was mistaken for said they were offered an opportunity to provide input on changes to the hospital's patient identification policy, but they never heard back.

Now, both families say that lack of communication has only amplified their pain and confusion.

"It just feels like I didn't matter," said Heather Insley, the Picton, Ont., mother who spent three agonizing days in January at the bedside of a man she thought was her eldest son, Sean Cox, watching him die.

"I feel very frustrated because this, still, in my mind, isn't over," she said. "My son is alive and the other young man isn't, but I still grieved for that time and … I'd like answers."

Sam, the brother of the man who died, said he's also waiting to hear from the hospital.