A letter to my son: As you turn one today in Gaza, I feel joy and sorrow

You are growing up without toys, a safe home, and the energy of your parents but your presence brings us hope.

Deir el-Balah – Today, Eyas, you turn one, and what an indescribable year it has been.

Who could have foreseen that war would overshadow your first year, making the sounds of missiles, warplanes and reconnaissance drones among the first to feature in your life?

Your basic needs have become our daily battle amid the war as we struggle to access clean water, baby formula, nappies, and your clothes for winter and summer.

Watching you grow brings me both joy and sorrow. You are growing up without colourful toys, without a cosy home to shelter you, without beautiful, soft clothing, and, most painfully, without the full energy of your father and I, as we are burdened by sadness, depression, and harsh circumstances all around.

Little displaced one, I don’t know whether to feel sadness or relief that you don’t yet understand the turmoil around you. But I know that a child your age should not endure such a harsh life.